The Importance of a Mentor and Why I Need to Get One

Let me start off by congratulating myself for achieving what seemed like a dream some years ago. While I am thrilled with where I am regarding my professional goals, I think there is a lot to learn and achieve in life. When I started learning SQL Server, I was so excited that I would talk with my colleagues for hours trying to convince them and prove my point. The more I learned and grew, the more I realized how much I don’t know. SQL Server is an ocean, and I was just scratching its surface. Even after years of working with SQL Server, my thought has remained the same – I know only so much and there is a lot more to it.

Fear of missing out, or FOMO, is an anxiety that one is wasting their life while others are enjoying more fulfilling experiences. With the constantly growing technologies, overwhelming new tools & techniques, and social media posts, I have realized that I suffer from FOMO. I read books on the latest technologies and try to keep myself updated and occupied, but somehow, I still feel there is a lot I am missing out on that I need to learn. Everybody needs guidance at some point. I do too. The guidance to understand what I am doing and what I should really do so I don’t regret five years down the road, what I need to achieve my professional goals, where do I see myself in the next five years, whether to switch careers midway and so on. These are some important questions, and if I don’t answer them now, procrastination will take its course and life will continue unchanged and unplanned. Not that it will be a total disaster or anything, it’s just that it will lose a sense of excitement and fulfillment.

So how do I get answers to the above questions and keep on track with my goals? The answer is with the help of a mentor. A mentor helps you grow in your career. They inspire you to become a better version of yourself.

Don’t get me wrong though. It’s not that I am dissatisfied with what I have achieved in my career. I sure am happy about the successes I have had over the course of my professional career. I have been able to contribute some in-depth quality articles for the Microsoft TechNet Wiki platform, attended and volunteered at SQL Server conferences such as PASS Summit, SQL Saturday, virtual conferences, spoke at PASS local user groups, read technical books, grew to a lead/senior Database Consultant. However, I have a strong feeling that I have the potential to do much more than just that. I am confident that I can be a top-notch presenter, a very good blogger, a great communicator, and a better person overall. I am a believer that there is always room for improvement. However, I don’t think confidence alone can do the trick. I need to have a proper direction in life, a goal about what to focus on, and how to achieve professional goals. That’s where I need help from someone who has walked the same path and made all the right decisions. That’s where a mentor comes in.

So what are the areas I am looking for help in? There are quite a few:

1. Public speaking: Having spoken at SQL Server local user groups and got some good feedback, I think I am close to becoming a better speaker. However, I need help to understand how to become one. What key aspects to work on. Overall, how to deliver a presentation to a houseful audience, like a PASS Summit session or a keynote at a SQL Saturday.

2. Blogging: This is the area I am looking to focus on in the coming days. I have procrastinated a lot by convincing myself that all SQL Server topics have already been written about by other bloggers and that writing just about anything would be redundant. I want to disprove myself by writing about topics in my unique way, even if that means to repeat a topic someone has already written about.

3. Time management: I always thought I could manage time efficiently until I started following Paul Randal of SQLskills.com about seven years ago. Imagine raising a family, blogging, traveling to places for speaking events, reading hundreds, if not thousands, of books a year, all that besides running a company. Yes, that’s him. I would love to carve out my time just like that so I could, at the very least, do blogging and read books. Yes, I read a lot of self-help books. That’s besides the SQL Server books I read.

4. Career planning: As mentioned above, the FOMO has kept me from making some important decisions in my life. Should I switch to a different field? How do I know if I have a passion for it? How can I tell if I will stick around in that field for a long time if I switched? Would it make sense to switch after having spent years in one field? These are the questions I keep asking and trying to figure out by myself.

5. Dealing with people: In my life as a Database Consultant, I deal with many people. I always make sure I talk with them as clearly and to the point as possible. However, at times, I feel there is something that is missing. I would like to improve in this area as it directly affects my job as a consultant.

6. Increasing influence: This is something I am looking to achieve. I don’t want to come across as someone who shows off how special and important they are, instead, I would like to do it the other way around I.e. to make the other person feel special and important.

7. Other miscellaneous areas including communication skills, community exposure, and become a better version of myself.

I understand that my effort will come to naught if I don’t put in the hard work and work towards it. Given the incredible chance to learn from someone who has been in my shoes, and who possesses the expertise to guide others, I don’t see any reason I would not improve in the above areas. Not only am I focused on improving myself, but I am also a huge believer in paying it forward by giving what I learned back to the community, making it a win-win situation.